Na-na-na-boo-boo

Well dear friends, I have another confounding dating story that results in the early demise of an otherwise promising relationship. This one was a little surprising as C had been giving me all the signs that he was interested (i.e. inviting me to his company picnic, telling me on multiple occasions that he "wants to settle down", and also telling me outright, "I like you."). However in modern dating-speak these phrases apparently are all just thinly-veiled ploys that actually mean, "I will say whatever it takes in a seemingly genuine manner just to get in your pants."

Now, I have a pretty good BS meter, so I think that he actually meant all of these things at the time he was saying them. Maybe he genuinely meant them, or maybe they were all just thinly veiled ploys to get a little somethin' somethin'. I will probably never know. One thing I do know is that I'm glad I stuck to my guns and never let him get into said pants, otherwise I would be MIGHTY pissed right now.

What I really suspect happened to cause the demise is that I probably did or said something seemingly innocuous that he in turn translated to something scary (i.e. Me, "Hey, when are you free this week to hang out?" Him, "OMG, she wants to set a time to hang out, she must be picking out our china pattern."). I will never understand why guys think that all women are just dying to get married as soon as she can find a dress. Do I want to get married? Yes. Do I want to run to City Hall this afternoon? Absolutely not. As those of you who read this blog know, I've got a lot of shit going on in my life right now. I'm starting a new job (hooray! more on that in another post), I'm producing a play, and I'm looking for a place to live. Do I really have time for a relationship right now? No. However, for the right person I am willing to make time in my life because it's important to me.


The other thing I will never understand about men is their perception that saying the words "I don't want to date you anymore" will cause a woman to go apoplectic. Guess what? If you speak to me like a rational human being, I'll probably get it. I'm smart. In fact I'm probably smarter than you, so don't assume I'm an emotional dolt.


Here is an excerpt of the last email C sent me:

"...Wanted to ask you, can we take out relationship very slow. I am not sure if I am ready for a relationship as of now with so much going on in my life. I do like you but want to stay friends for now until I am ready. Is that okay? I am going through a lot and want to be completely upfront with you. Is that okay?"

As I was on my way out of work when I received this missive I had no time to respond and so sent him a text saying I needed to think about it. This of course set off a flurry of back-and-forth texts where he was forced to stop pussy-footing around what he really wanted to say and admit that he doesn't want to date me (for the record, according to him there is no one else, it's just he's "not ready"...despite all evidence to the contrary over the past 2 months--see above referenced phrases). Of course, he gave me one final clichéd phrase before the texting desisted: he wants to "be friends" which of course is relationship-speak for "good-bye."

Not wanting him to have the final word (I'm competitive, what can I say?) I decided that as soon as I got back into the office (in 2 days, eek!) I would delete him as a FB friend (for the record: it was his idea to become FB friends a few weeks ago). My delay was costly for as I logged on to FB this morning with the sole intention of deleting him as a "friend" I discovered that the little scamp had beaten me to it!

But guess what dear friends? I win after all because C never made it into the contacts list on my phone. So there. I win. For now anyway.